its ME not YOU

I have made up my mind…

I’m sure I did…

Things were kind of OK today, I came in from work and ate my meals and stuff… the normal things I do after work… Then suddenly in the middle of my sleep, my cell phone rang and I was too darn sleepy to stand up and pick up my phone on the other end of my room (it was in the dresser near the door), so I just ignored it, then after a few minutes, it rang again… I was not expecting him to call me in this time of the day, because I figured he would be at work… that HE is my boyfriend.

So with no second thoughts, I answered the phone and to my most jolly voice I said “Hi I wasn’t expecting you to call” and then he sounded like he was drunk, he sounded like his sober voice, deep and so sad, then I was really puzzled of what might be the reason for him to sound like that and WHY IS HE DRUNK?!

So I asked him “Are you OK? Anything wrong?” … then things started to darken and stuff like, the heavens are dropping on my face, I was never expecting this…I really wasn’t.

Have you ever felt of being so alone? Things like, things weren’t happening the way they have to be to the point that you ask yourself on what have you done to be treated as such.

HE BROKE UP WITH ME.

I was speechless, I wanted to cry, but I carried on and I told myself, I have to be strong for myself. I was too shocked that I hang-up and started to walk slowly back to my bed, having the same reaction on my face.

I lay down my bed and tears started to fall from my eyes, I was doing my best to hold them back, but the emotion was too strong it managed to take control on me, I then convinced myself that everything was just a dream, and I will soon wake up from this bad dream of mine; but the convincing was no use, I was feeling it real, I was sad, I was awake and I am ALONE.

I was totally weak on that moment, I wish I could just go away from the world so that no one would ever see me this way, because it pains a lot. I then thought of things that would make me feel better, I said things to myself like, stars would shine for me some other day, and soon things will be fine but I have to accept that things will never be the same again, the same feeling, the same gush of happiness that I feel.

I posted yesterday about the things that I’m recently feeling, I was right, things were not going the way they are, the right way. And right now I’m having troubles accepting it. I thought it’ll be OK and I can carry on with it…But AGIN I was WRONG.

I was WRONG.

*Sighs

Hi, It’s me…I’m single…

Who was wrong about it all? It was ME……not YOU.