I am now asking myself of things that are so petty, things like: “Am I really not good enough?” , “what do the others have that I don’t?” … I guess I’ll never find the answers.
The thought of giving up was also lingering in my mind, I am now loving Adele’s “Chasing pavements” because it’s just like the thing that I’m feeling right now. Things that I never thought I’d be feeling again in the longest time in my life.
I heard news, that you were really happy with how things are going on in your life now and I want you to know that I am happy for you as well. It’s just that I can’t help but think of the things that we used to do together, the small talks, the small laughs that we always have, the fights that we had, the yelling the silence when you’re mad and the tears that fall when I’m crying.
I just want to scream my heart out and just hurt myself for feeling this. Because I know it’s not right that I’m still feeling this feeling for you STILL.
I am really hoping that you come back to me one day, I don’t care how much pain you’ve caused me… those are nothing, those things will be nothing.
I am still having this habit of looking at your pictures on my phone; I still read your text messages I still have everything since you left… I STILL LOVE YOU.
I know you are with somebody else now, and I respect that, I know that everything is good with you and everything is perfect with you and whoever you are with now. I just hope someday, I could look back at the memories that we had and the love we shared for each other with a smile on my face. I just hope that someday, I could look at your eyes and smile and be happy; be happy that I made it and I survived the tingling feeling of MOVING ON. I hope someday … I hope, you’ll still find it in your heart to LOVE ME AGAIN.
My mind is so clouded, I can’t think straight and I can’t take you of my mind, I can’t take you of my life! All that I know is I am in pain, in deep pain that I am having this thought in my mind that there is no chance that we could be together again. I am willing to give up all these earthly object, I don’t need the money, I don’t need those cars, I don’t care if my friends won’t talk to me for a long time, I don’t care if my parents would ground me for life, I don’t care if the world would hate me… I just don’t care…because for me, what’s really important now, and what I really feel is ALL I WANTED IS YOU…
