Thursday, November 8, 2012


Hi, I know that I have been whining about the the unexpressed feeling that I have for the person that I have been writing about in my previous 2 posts. But here comes the reason why I never told him I had feelings for him and I have been secretly keeping it to myself, my friends did not even know about this, but I am ready to tell the NETizens about this story that I have been wanting to tell them.

Okay, wait. before my thoughts come in rushing that I won't make sense anymore... let me take you back to history, where it all started.

This happened 4 years ago, someone was trying to get my attention on a mobile chat room that locals go to for fun (clean and some dirty FUN)... I was there bashing everyone basically because I don't know them and they don't know me... So I could tell them things that has no basis and they could do the same thing to me, I know I am a bully. LOL. Going back, he was bashing me so bad that it made me so mad, he was telling me that I was ugly and all that I don't deserve to live because I have an ugly face and an ugly heart. I then dared him that we trade facebook profiles just to know who will be wrong.

After we trade facebook profiles, he commented that I looked good and he was wrong... (Victory was mine!) I still continued to be rude to him, I am not really rude, I just like being rude to him because he always makes me feel good when I am rude.

We exchanged numbers, and texted each other for 4 years now. I had this feeling that he likes me and I thinks he knows that I like him too.

Until this November, he formally asked me for a date.

Before he asked me for a date, he was telling me things like "Why can't someone love me?" and I give him clues that I do love him it's just that he don't see it.

Saturday night he called me up saying that he will be coming to my city to see me and spend time with me... At first it started as a joke (Maybe because I took it as a joke) and then he persisted and so I said "yes".

We went to church, went to see a movie and went to dinner went to a bar and sent him to his hotel. The next morning, I went to the hotel to have breakfast with him and then sent him home.

You know why it's awkward? We barely talked... And now, I am so frustrated. I like him, I don't know if he likes me still after spending a whole day with me... He still makes me laugh, he likes making me laugh... We just never talked about serious stuff...

One factor that makes it awkward is, I don't think he had FUN spending time with me. :(

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