another BROKEN note...

In the past few months, xoxo and hearts all over are the only things I know, I also love drawing hearts on that particular someone's name and mine, not a day passes by without me day-dreaming about me and that someone going out driving; call me silly but it's true those were the things that I used to do when someone used to tell me "I love you".

I always say that I'm a stargazer, still waiting for my shooting star to land on my palm and finally grant me my wish, grant me the wish that I've been longing for for someone who'll accept what I am and ignores what I'm not, someone who'll see perfection behind my imperfections, someone who will make me feel loved, special and make me feel my worth.

Then there was this someone, who brought me into the light, showed me what it feels like to be in love, to be loved and to love back. things that I think I never felt before, and it felt really good. It was like a dream turned into reality.

someone: you stole my heart...

me: don't worry I'll take care of it...

someone: did I stole your heart too?

me: no...

someone: ???

me: I gave it to you...

Until one day, I found out that you were having a relationship with someone else, at first I denied it to myself, but slowly and slowly all my dreams turned into nightmare, all that I am; my soul, my love, my heart is now...BROKEN.

CAUTION: Under Repair

I had my own fair share of Once upon a time...

I had my own soundtrack...

I had my slow motion stairway entrance...

I had my own fairytale love story...

Well, my friend Webster defines the word “had” as a state of the past, yes, ladies and gentle men that was BEFORE...today as I woke up and took a look of my reflection in the mirror, I saw someone who once had the most beautiful morning in his lifetime, too bad it has to come to an end, and take note it wasn’t a happy ending.

This post has something to do with my last one. Have you ever felt that feeling where you wake up and talk to yourself in the mirror and say “good morning!”? That certain feeling where you end up smiling and thinking about the person you’ve been drawing hearts all over? ...yeah! I know you know that.

Once in my life I think I found the right one, once in my life I think I made the right choice, once in my life I know that I’ve fallen in love, and once in my life I was wrong about it all.

I admit, the moment I faced my computer and decided to make a post for today, I didn’t know what to right about, how to make you guys feel that I’m not haunted by the past, how to make a happy mask out of the pieces of hurts that are on the floor... how to bring back my pieces and start building my old self again, shinny and new.

I’m not afraid to fall again, and get hurt, because like what I said it’s 1:5; it’s just that this time it causes so much hurt that I have to need the help of someone or something to make me stand up again. Today, it's another day for me to deal with the memories that keeps on inflowing my mind, another day for me to keep on trying to put back all the bust pieces that the past has made out of me.

There are certain things that I deny to myself and also there are certain things that make me blame myself for the hurt that I feel right now. I feel really sad and tired of this feeling that keeps on haunting me these past months. I’m not fully recovered from the hurt, I’m not fixed yet but I know I’m getting there.

...I’m under repair